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Someone needs to Get In The Sea? Google Maps will show them the way

21st Century western culture is by and large moribund, tedious, and in the immortal words of hipster harbinger Nathan Barley, well plastic. 

Fortunately in these troubled times we have a guiding light in the form of Get In The Sea; a wonderfully acerbic (and NSFW) social media presence that metes out righteous scorn on obvious-but-deserving targets like beard glitter, ill-thought out Internet of Things things and animal clairvoyants

But how can one get in the sea in the most expedient manner? Thanks to Doogal’s ‘Distance to the sea’, (above) you’re able to enter a UK postcode, hit Calculate and it’ll work out the most direct route for sea-based gettery. 

Related: The Internet of Dumb Things – Do we really need this crap?If you’re based in London, a prime source of sea-worthy targets, chances are the nearest drop off point will either be Tilbury or Gravesend, depending on which side of the river you’re on. 

As well as plotting the most direct route as the crow flies, where postcode data is available, ‘Distance to the sea’  will let you plot a journey on Google Maps should you actually want to head out to the nearest point where Britain’s heavily indented coastline meets any of the bodies of water that surround it. 

Fortunately for the likes of should-be-ocean-bound things and people beyond the British Isles, ‘Distance to the sea’ so far only covers UK coastlines and borders. 

Unfortunately for them, there’s also Tom White’s ‘How far away is the sea’, which lets you zero in on the nearest oceanic entry point from anywhere in the world. You won’t pull in any postcode info but at least there’s nowhere for trans-Atlantic man bun purveyors to hide. Portland, you have been warned

And before any smartarse suggests where we should go for writing this, we’ve beaten you to the punch; our offices are 24.7 miles away from the North Sea. Do let us know how cold the water is. 

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