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Read your dog’s mind with No More Woof…

Happy? Hungry? Suicidal? Sometimes it’s difficult to truly know how your dog feels. Well, now you can cut the canine guesswork thanks to No More Woof – a headset for your hound which targets its innermost doggie desires and translates them into human speech. No, wait, come back…

What's that, Rover? Sally's fallen down the well?

Since early man first managed to stop wolves from tearing him limb from limb, domesticated them into tearing other animals apart on his behalf, before finally training them to dance on tawdry British TV ‘talent’ shows, the countless generations of that original early man have longed to learn what their best friend was really thinking; and now a £40 prototype can provide the answer.

Developed not by some nutjob but serious Scandinavian scientists at the Nordic Society for Invention and Discovery, the No More Woof combines EEG-sensoring with micro-computing and computer interface technology, using an electro-encephalograph (EEG) reader that, once strapped to your obliging bowwow’s bonce, reads electrical brain activity before running the results through a Rasperry Pi which. This, in turn, translates from doggy style into English. Still here?

Currently cruising for cash on crowdfunding site Indiegogo, two options will be offered, one with a single-sensor, recognising 2-3 thought patterns, and a twin-sensor version that could conceivably fill your every waking moment with constant woofle from the moment you strap the No More Woof on until the moment you rip it off and stamp on it.

Absolutely barking! We’ll get our coat…

-Stuart Pritchard


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