All Sections

Now there’s a rabbit reality show, we’ve officially reached peak lockdown

KitKat has unveiled a reality show to select your favourite Easter bunny, and it’s proof positive that lockdown has made us all as mad as March hares.

Do you remember when people still tried to put an optimistic spin on lockdown? When they said that it’s an opportunity to make your own bread, learn a new language, teach yourself how to play chess, or read a weighty tome from the literary canon?

That nonsensical naïveté has long since disappeared, and in its place we seek something – anything – to battle the boredom inflicted by months spent at home with nowhere to go and nothing to do. KitKat has found the answer: Rabbits. Lots of rabbits.

The Big Bunny Hutch is seemingly based on Big Brother, though hopefully with fewer racist outbursts, and will feature five ravishing rodents living in the lap of luxury (“five-star comfort complete with quilted beds, a modern open-plan lounge/dining space and kitchen equipped with the latest in bunny beverages”) until the public votes for their top choice as the Easter Bunny.

The show will broadcast at 11am from March 22 to March 27 on kitkat.com, and the winning wabbit will be announced on March 30.

Narrator Pete Wicks admitted that “this might be the strangest show I’ve ever been involved with…”, although seeing as he made his name in The Only Way is Essex, it’s also likely to count as the most highbrow cultural contribution of his career.

The five fluffy friends are named Alice, Coco, Marble, Snowy, and Popcorn (pictured above), but I’m intrigued as to how they will differentiate themselves and win the hearts of the nation. I mean, how do you set a bushtucker trial for a species that voluntarily eats its own droppings? And what’s more, will the cuddly companions soon be doing the proverbial like rabbits, even putting Love Island’s perma-tanned posers to shame?

The answer to these and every question you never knew you needed to know about our floppy-eared friends, will surely be answered in The Big Bunny Hutch. If generations to come ever ask what effect so many months of intense social distancing had on the collective human psyche, this will serve as a ready response.

Comments