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Phone porn virus gives a Royal shock

A new Android phone virus is spreading via porn sites, locking down smartphones and shaming users into parting with cash.

British porn browsers received the Royal stare of disapproval this week, while American grot surfers endured a finger-wagging from Barack Obama himself, thanks to a malicious Android virus. The Android.Trojan.Koler.A trojan is spread through dodgy smut sites, disguising itself as a premium video player which has to be installed to enjoy the fleshy delights. But once it’s on your Android phone, the trojan locks down the phone and displays a scary message, designed to tease cash from the hapless tug enthusiasts.

Android phone trojan virus Koler.A displays a scary warning featuring the Queen or Barack Obama

Once installed, the fake video player flashes up a false warning that scares the bewildered grumble seeker into thinking they’ve broken child pornography laws, among others. The warning page is even tailored to the user’s location: British self-abusers will probably shrink back into themselves at the sight of the Queen and a rather stern copper staring back at them, while American knuckle-shufflers are treated to Barack Obama jabbing an accusing finger at them.

The trojan continues with a warning about possible jail time, and then tries to tease $300 from the unfortunate boobie enthusiast as penance.

If you do find your session with Madame Palm and her five lovely daughters interrupted by this ransomware, all you need to do to remove it is find the app in your apps settings and then uninstall it. And remember: whenever you touch yourself there, the Queen is judging you.

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