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The Apple Watch strap for utter twats

Got sackfuls of money clogging up the halls of your Knightsbridge apartment, but can’t decide whether to buy an Apple Watch or a posh traditional watch with it all? Well, thanks to this bloody stupid Nico Gerard Apple Watch strap, you can do both at once.

As if spunking hundreds of pounds on an Apple Watch wasn’t enough, you can now throw $9,300 at Nico Gerard for the Pinnacle watch strap (not including VAT) to make your shiny smart device even more sparkly. But the Pinnacle isn’t just a watch strap (as you’d hope for that amount of cash). Nope, it’s a whole other watch too.

Getting bored of looking at Apple’s colourful Watch screen? Long for the traditional ‘display’ of a classic timepiece? Fancy some actual hands that move around in a clockwise fashion to tell the time, instead of a picture of Mickey Mouse? No problem. Just turn your wrist and there’s a second, analogue timepiece. Genius.

If you’re tempted by Nico Gerard’s Pinnacle, then you’re probably the kind of person who uses fifty pound notes to mop the sweat from your brow at the effort of lifting your wallet. In which case, feel free to stuff some of that excess cash into an envelope and send it to Recombu HQ.

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