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Dating apps responsible for surge in itchy crotches

According to a recent study conducted by the Rhode Island Department of Health, the rise of dating apps like Tinder and Grindr has led to a notable increase in STDs spreading across the States.

The rather alarming study noted a significant increase in STDs like syphilis, gonorrhoea and HIV across the tiny state, and attributed the climbing numbers to people’s increased reliance on social media and dating apps to arrange “hook-ups” with relative strangers.

From 2013 to 2014, cases of syphilis in Rhode Island increased by a harrowing 79 per cent, while cases of gonorrhoea rose by 30 per cent and HIV increased by 33 per cent.

“The recent uptick in STDs in Rhode Island follows a national trend,” the study’s findings stated. “The increase has been attributed to better testing by providers and to high-risk behaviors that have become more common in recent years. High-risk behaviors include using social media to arrange casual and often anonymous sexual encounters, having sex without a condom, having multiple sex partners, and having sex while under the influence of drugs or alcohol.”

While conditions like gonorrhoea and syphilis and even HIV are treatable with the right drugs, the increase shows the potential for disaster if a drug-resistant strain of cockrot was to emerge.

Only last year, America’s CDC discussed the potential damage a significant outbreak of multidrug and cephalosporin-resistant gonorrhoea might cause in the United States. And, as this study shows, these diseases could now be easily spread, owing to changes in the social and dating scene brought on by intuitive technology.

Of course, while the apps themselves provide a means for randy tappers to hook up, it’s the users’ stupidity that’s really to blame. Remember kiddies: slap on a johnny if you’re sleeping about. Sorted.

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