All Sections

Want more sex? This hypnosis cat smartwatch reckons it can help

“Get laid more often” boast the makers of the Dating Skills Smartwatch, a wearable designed to help men trick ladies into getting jiggy. But will this devious smartwatch actually work on the fairer sex?

The Dating Skills Smartwatch features three eye-catching watchfaces that grab girls’ attention, including a picture of some flowers (because as the Indiegogo video points out, girls love flowers) as well as a cute snap of an ickle kitten (because they also love small furry mammals). Apparently approaching a girl and simply showing her your watch face will prove that you’re a sensitive soul and immediately get her in the mood to do awesome things to your penis.

But the Dating Skills Smartwatch doesn’t stop there, oh no! While your victim¬†chosen partner is staring in wonder at that fluffy kitten, you can use the watch to snap a sneaky shot of their face. Then simply ask them for their number and offer to send the blurry, surprised shot to them, and bingo! If they aren’t totally creeped out, you can send desperate, stalkerish texts for months to come.

Of course, chances are it’ll be some unsuspecting bloke in Hampstead who’s getting all your texts instead, but hey ho.

But there’s more! The Dating Skills Smartwatch also has clever built-in subliminal hypnosis tracks which can teach you to be more confident and impart strategies on how to pick up girls. We’re expecting these strategies to involve more cat photos and dodgy underhand tactics, and not much of the ‘maybe try talking to them like human beings’ angle that’s generally quite popular.

Specs-wise, the Dating Skills Smartwatch packs a 1.54-inch touchscreen, Italian leather/silicone band, earphones for listening to those subliminal tracks and is compatible with iOS as well as Android. Sadly there’s no built-in sex spray to fire into their faces, to make them instantly gagging for it. Although we’re kind of hoping a female version hits stores soon, with built-in pepper spray in case any Dating Skills Smartwatch PUAs approach.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *