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If film stars were phones, featuring Edward Cullen as an HTC Legend

We’re right in the midst of the film awards season, and while you may have been keeping up just enough to keep up with water cooler chit chat – “So, how ’bout that Hurt Locker – doing well, isn’t it? Anyone seen it? No?” – we couldn’t help but notice a few similarities between some well-known mobile phone handsets and some well-used film characters. If phones were cliched characters in films, here’s what we reckon they’d be.

HTC Legend – The heart-throb

The leading man, he’s probably a newcomer to the scene and lower spec than the existing male characters (see also: HTC Desire), but he’s so drop-dead gorgeous that we overlook all that and giggle girlishly every time he’s on screen. We try and fail to keep our out-of-control adoration under wraps. Boys even like him too; it just comes out as loathing, eye rolling, and comments like ‘I don’t know why I’m watching this crap’. We know you secretly wish you were a perfect specimen of vampire-hood like Edward Cullen (Twilight), a 50 year old man literally reliving his 17th year (Mike O’Donnell, 17 Again) or a sleek brushed metallic handset with deliciously sharp AMOLED display.

Samsung Genio range – The irritating twins

With their interchangeable back panels, similar styling and ‘funky’ designs, the Samsung Genio range would definitely play the irritating identical twins who get into all kinds of hilarious scrapes. They’re never the lead characters, but provide vaguely comedic asides where they fool their parents into thinking one is the other (The Parent Trap) and generally cause trouble and confusion everywhere they go (Cheaper By The Dozen).

Nokia N900 – The mad scientist

Running Maemo, the OS which claims a laser-eyed penguin as its mascot, the N900 (pictured left) is the most hackable handset known to man which makes it the perfect mad scientist. If ever there was a handset to steal plutonium from the Russian mob (Doc Brown, Back To The Future) or accidentally splice himself with a fly while trying to develop teleportation (Seth Brundle, The Fly), the N900 would be it. On the cusp of evil genius, the N900 is but a bad super-hero experience away from becoming Buddy Pine aka Syndrome from The Incredibles.

HTC Hero – The aging stud

Having enjoyed a blaze of attention and swept the awards board in 2009, the HTC Hero has had its day in the sun. It’s ready to hand pick its one role a year and live out the rest of its days on a farm in the Calfornian wine region. The HTC Hero is still attractive, don’t get us wrong. But it’s more of a silver fox than the hunky young heartthrob it once was. It’s Danny Ocean (Ocean’s Eleven), Edward Lewis (Pretty Woman) and, er, Indiana Jones in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

iPhone – The wide-eyed young ingénue

With its sleek looks, smooth stroke-able screen and compartmentalised applications that can do pretty much anything, the iPhone is the bright young girl with stars in her eyes. We’re talking modern-day Disney princesses here – Elle Woods (Legally Blonde) and Giselle (Enchanted) are two prime examples. Ok, so she can’t multi-task like her wicked stepmother, but she’s not stupid – she’ll end up a successful lawyer, a fashion designer or a next generation iPhone. And she sure does look pretty.

Nexus One – The cool guy who plays by his own rules

With its direct-from-Google retailing system, the Nexus One don’t answer to nobody, and neither do its filmic counterparts. He’s occasionally brash (Pete Venkman) but essentially a good guy (John McClane) albeit with his own agenda (Jack Sparrow). His witty one-liners and elegant timelessness (not to mention web access) mean he’s still down with the kids and not relegated to the retirement heap.

Blackberry Bold 9700 – The nerd who comes good

Once upon a time, the nerd was the least alluring character in the movies but that’s all changed now that technology is cool. We’re not saying we want to live in a world like Hackers where we all have names like ‘Acid Burn’ and make deeply questionable fashion choices, but it’s high time the be-spectacled computer-club members got some props. Just like the Blackberry Bold 9700 (pictured left) – Blackberrys, formerly the workhorse losers of the phone world, are now slick, nice to use (if you ignore the crappy web-browser, which we tend to do) and a serious phone of choice for play as well as work. They are Gary Wallace in Weird Science, Harry Potter and his geeky friends and any character ever played by Michael Cera.

Nokia N97 – The femme fatale

Ahh, Nokia’s folly. The N97 we all had such high hopes for just failed to deliver, just like that beautiful, powerful woman who stole your heart over a scotch and cigarette, but turned out to be pure, blackest evil. Sure, it can multi-task… but at what cost? Like Catherine Tramell in Basic Instinct, the N97 will always have an ice pick stashed under the bed.


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