If the idea of an app called Invisible Girlfriend seems instantly idiotic to you, stop reading now. Right, still here? Good, then let’s dive deep into the myriad mysteries of the opposite sex… simulator; opposite sex simulator, ahem.
Not everyone possesses the lady pleasing looks, easy charm and rapier wit of a Recombu writer. For some love will never look twice, which is why the rejection-accepting developers at Invisible Girlfriend have created a female-aping app that is so uncannily akin to being in a relationship that it’ll constantly cost you money, bother you with calls and text messages, leave you voice mail and even flesh-out the femme quota on your Facebook page.
Once you’ve downloaded the app, you can browse the library of lover-lies and select ‘the one’ that seems most conceivably convincing. It’ll then help dangerous loners, confirmed bachelors and uncaught lady killers convince others that they are in a loving relationship with a real human being.
Invisible Girlfriend offers three packages ranging from £6.20 per month for fake calls, SMS messages and an intriguing ‘Emergency Interaction Button’, up to £31 per month(!) for all the aforementioned plus live calls, Facebook interaction, gifts and notes and the ability to create a backstory of your choice.
If you’re particularly desperate (and rich) then we think it’s a fabulous idea — it’ll give any misanthropic mobile owner the ability to look attached without the tedious bother, mess and effort involved in actually doing sex with a lady.
Invisible Girlfriend is expected to become available before Christmas — just in time for the inevitable over-lunch grilling about why you’re still a lonely loser. Make a date to download now! Or just admit/pretend you’re gay; it’ll save a fortune…