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President Obama not allowed to use iPhones

We’ve learnt many fascinating facts about Barack Obama since he became king of the free world: he is not the secret Muslim antichrist (despite what the Republicans say); he can sing Sweet Home Chicago; he was given the codename ‘Renegade’ by his Secret Service handlers; and as of this week we can add to our list that he uses a BlackBerry because he’s not allowed an iPhone. Wait. What? Hold the phone.

"Is that the NSA? Sorry, of course it is!"

Keen observers may have noticed that most pics of Barry O-B on a mobile since being promoted to Commander in Chief show him clutching a BlackBerry 8820 World Edition in his presidential palm, complete with special non-spook-snoop app SecureVoice. However, during a White House Youth Summit on the Affordable Care Act on Wednesday, Mr Obama, obviously bored out of his Oval Office tree, made mentioned to the assembled young politickers that he was banned from owning an all-American iPhone for “security reasons” and was instead stuck with the BB model made by the Canadians living upstairs.

A particularly amusing admission, especially given that, according to ex-NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden, the biggest threat to smartphone data these days, whether you’re Bob Nobody or Angela Merkell, comes from the US’s own hack-tastic Nation Security Agency itself.

While cleared for use within the Department of Defense, the iPhone is not deemed up to par for the President, which doesn’t make much sense since the iPhone is probably the most secure smartphone ever. But then, perhaps Mr Snowden’s increasing revelations over which mobiles the NSA has managed to crack offer some explanation. In any event, that’s another fact you can add to your Obama Album. That and he had a pet ape called Tata while in Indonesia – we swear!

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