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Smartphone Addiction causes erectile dysfunction, warns Dr Wang

Whilst all except the lowliest of Luddites generally accept that smartphones are the best things to have happened to humankind since the dawn of digital sliced bread, it seems that there may be more of a distinctly down side to the male side of mankind’s pocketable-OS over-interest. According to a mood-killing warning issued by doctors in Taiwan, addiction to smartphone usage raises the risk of erectile dysfunction; and evidently nothing else afterwards.

This man is about to get his candy crushed...

The disturbing discovery was made by the delightfully, news-piece-giftingly named Dr. Wang of the Kaohsiung Medical Chung-Ho Memorial Hospital following a visit from a young couple whose sex life had gone lamentably limp.

Factoring in his knowledge of reports of trouser-failures amongst Taiwan’s young men that has seen increasing numbers of 20-somethings complaining to doctors of man-malfunctions more normally seen in the middle-aged, Dr. Wang pieced the puzzle together with all the cerebral gymnastics of a House/Holmes hybrid and arrived at the conclusion that it was something else in his 28-year-old patient’s pocket causing the problems.

“Addiction to smartphone games is a main cause of his erectile dysfunction. It has reduced his sexual drive,” Wang ejaculated to WantChinaTimes. The good doctor went on to recommend that his flaccid friend should quit smoking and pack in playing games on his phone all evening if he was to return to his former glory, and according to the latest on the case things are now definitely looking up again for the former Candy Crush-ardour-ending addict.

Whether Dr. Wang’s diagnosis of this strange case and its unusual outcome is being applied to assist all other similarly slack young men in Taiwan remains to be reported, but one truth we can definitely take away from this is: gents, if you want to avoid being faced with a real Angry Bird every night, put the phone down.

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