Death by door.
Death by bathtub.
Death by green Smart Car.
The things I am getting killed by in The Incident are getting increasingly ridiculous.
Death by Stratocaster.
Death by Fire Hydrant.
I find myself cursing the unwieldy iPad as I try and tilt it to control my character at the same time as tapping the screen to make him jump up on to a precariously balanced vending machine atop what looks like a Mac Pro.
Death by Stop Sign.
The pixelly eBoy-like objects will make you feel about eight years old, mocking you with their retro styling and uncanny ability to bosh you on the head as they fall from the sky.
Death by Tagged Wall.
I mean, it’s fun – in a ‘I hate this game but can’t stop playing’ kind of way. Clambering over debris and journeying ever upwards – I don’t even know why. What’s up there aside from the end-of-level bunting?
Death by Expensive Sofa.
This is what you’re in for if you download The Incident.
Death by Maneki Neko?
Are they kidding me with this?