From bouncing breasts and awkward anime apps to virtual dates and pretend poo, these are the most unintentionally hilarious or just plain cringe-worthy VR apps and experiences that we’ve ‘enjoyed’ in 2016.
Watching VR videos is already kind of weird and awkward at the best of times. After all, you’re essentially a spectre who’s unable to interact with your surroundings, spying on whatever’s happening around you. It can be lonely and strange and frustrating; basically, now we know how the Swayze felt in Ghost.
But some VR ‘experiences’ are even more painful and awkward than the rest, and here’s our pick of the weirdest VR apps and videos we’ve checked out so far in 2016.
White people ‘dancing’ to Snoop (VRideo)
This VRideo 360-degree clip of Snoop Dogg performing live in Stuttgart last year is well worth watching, just to experience a room full of white people attempting to look cool while the Doggfather does his thing (thang?). Cue lots of weird pointing and bizarre air-fisting.
We also recommend Private Party Moscow 360 if you enjoy awkward dancing. Check out the ring of people below the stage and you’ll likely be reminded of many godawful weddings from your past.
On Her Lap (Google Play)
Ever wanted to lie your head in the lap of a slightly terrifying anime girl, who greets you with the kind of manic smile you’d expect from a serial killer as they imagine hacking you to bits with a cleaver? We’ve got good news for you…
A virtual date with Yolanda Stammers (VRideo)
Another VRideo special. We don’t know who Yolanda Stammers is, but you can go on a virtual date with her anyway on VRideo. Spoiler alert, she throws a dog at you the second she meets you and it ends with an emotional breakdown in her bedroom. Which means this is roughly the fifth-worst date we’ve ever been on.
Cardboard VR Boobs (Google Play)
This VR app appears to have been pulled from Google Play since we downloaded it and we’re not entirely shocked, or disappointed for that matter.
It was kind of inevitable that someone would use VR for nefarious sweater puppy related purposes, and the result was the imaginatively-titled Cardboard VR Boobs. We can’t think of a better way of spending our precious, terrifyingly finite moments on this planet than by watching badly-rendered dirty pillows bouncing around in a physics-defying manner that would have Stephen Hawking shitting himself with fury. Shame it’s been wiped, then.
VR Toilet Simulator (Google Play)
Let’s push beyond the whole ‘why does this even exist’ argument (because we’re assuming that everyone who owns a smartphone also has access to a real-life toilet). Instead, let’s talk about how you appear to be a skeleton taking a dump, despite your complete lack of digestive system. Or the rather sinister rifle that’s propped up in the corner of the bathroom (was this some kind of Full Metal Jacket-style toilet suicide?). Or the weird lobster thing perched on the cistern to scare the crap out of you when you turn around.
Actually, let’s not talk about any of that. Let’s just end this silliness right now.
Got any recommendations for more ways we can waste our lives pissing around with Google Cardboard? Let us know in the comments below.