Emoji lovers are probably soiling themselves with joy (is there an emoji for that?) upon hearing that Oxford English Dictionary’s Word of the Year 2015 isn’t actually a word, it’s one of them bloody yellow face things. Meanwhile, civilisation crawls another inch closer to its inevitable, well-deserved implosion.
Love ’em or hate the little buggers, emojis are bloody everywhere now. Why bother to express your emotions using the finer nuances of the English language when you can simply post a picture of a turd with stink lines to describe the new One Direction album?
But I can’t get behind the Oxford English Dictionary’s choice of 2015’s Word of the Year, which isn’t actually a word at all. It’s the ‘Face with tears of joy’ emoji. Well, I can confirm that tears are indeed flooding down my face right now, but ‘of joy’ they certainly aren’t. Give it another century and the human race will be back to caveman levels of communication, scrawling pictures of a happy smiling sun or a frowny dog to convey our innermost emotions.
Things have been declining for a while, of course. 2014’s Word of the Year was ‘vape’ while 2013’s was of course ‘selfie’. And in case you missed it, selfies were the inspiration for the very first Arguments for the Apocalypse article, namely the Selfie World Championships.
So I for one welcome the inevitable moment when a billion ‘shocked face’ emojis are sent around the world, shortly before our alien overlords exterminate us for being f*cking hopeless.
Read next: Arguments for the Apocalypse #2: Nutscaping
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